Good bye, Goody

A young woman lost to cervical cancer. A mother of two, desperate to provide a better future for her young sons. 

Are things getting better?

I have not shaved, or applied any of those cream on the area near my upper lips for a few months.  Those hair on my legs and hands seems to grow more slowly too? Are things getting better, or am I getting oblivious to all these things? 

My menses was here last week. Really heavy. Very tired, but I was actually happy. Can you believe it? Happy that my menses were here despite the pain? I can remember how I used to wish that I will never have another menstruation when I was younger, and things were normal. How many girls out there wish their monthly sign of womanhood away?

The effect of hormone is really significant. During that week, I was hungry all the time. And then, I had no apetite at all. These few days, I am having a really strong craving for sugar and carbohydrate. Sigh. I am really worried about my weight not.

yeah, I survived Christmas and half the winter!!

Yes, I survived the festive season. 

• Survived the constant probing questions (When are you going to have kids of your own? Are you thinking about having kids?)
• Survived the task of remembering the names of about half a dozen of little humans my friends produced over the last 12 months!!!!
• Survived buying ever more presents to these bunch of babies - damn, why are these people so productive? Shall I get some puppies and insist my friends buy my puppies presents? I will get one puppy whenever someone produce another kid.
• Survived the chocolates, cakes, and the inbuilt instinct for fattening food in this extremely cold weather. My weight stayed where it was in November! Good or bad? That, itself was a great achievement!
• Survived helping Mum surviving her problem- people asking her about her grandchildren. She has none. My dear younger brother, being ever supportive, saved me by offering to donate sperm to sperm banks all around the world if Mum feel a really strong need/responsibility/animal instint to ensure the preservation of her genetic materials by constantly nagging me to have kids. One night stands could also contribute to the achievement of that mission too. Mum shut up, of course. My brother is a darling and a genius!  Hahaaaaa
• Survived not divulging too much details to Mum about how bad my situation is, no matter how much she nags, and how it hurts. She can't help me, and can only worry about me.

February is here, and spring will soon arrive.  I really look forward to spring, but can't help realising that it only takes a few more springs before the window of opportunity is totally gone for good. Lose weight, lose weight! These are the last springs of my reproductive self.