Revolution of the guts - what a wonderful weekend

Realising that it is the weekend coming, I decided to "let go a little bit" to reward myself and had these on Saturday
a) a chinese takeaway
b) a slice of cheese cake
c) peanuts

Bad bad bad... these are not just high calorie food, they also have  high oil content. I paid for it.

Sunday has been spent reading magazines in the toilet. Metformin + Xenical + oily food = DISASTER.
Gut wrenching. That is what it was. Went through 2 lovely rolls of toilet paper. Enough said. 

Lets fight the fats!!!!

I found a really great blog  called "becoming obesity's worse nightmare!" That is so inspirational - I can see shed loads of determination there! I like the photos of those numbers on the scale between nicely painted toes  :) I dont think that I can do it. I have really ugly toes. 

That inspired me to immediately do a stock take of what I have done since 1st January, and what I continue to do:

Since 1st January:

1. get off the train one station earlier  on the way to work
2.  walk to the further train station, if I am not too tired by the time I go home
3.  substitute more pasta/noodles meals with konyaku/shirataki noodles! These noodles helped lose 1kg this winter, instead of gaining the typical 3-7kg!!!
4.  Only eat things that are really delicious, especially if it is "bad". No more cheap cakes and chocolates
5. Two size 14 trousers joined the "being worn" category. These replaced  2 pieces of  totally worn out size 16 trousers (ie there are holes there). They started off really tight and ugly, but a good reminded to stay away from biscuits and cookies in the office!
6. Started metformin

Continued from last year

1.  Xenical - no longer needed daily, since I am mostly "good". Only take when eating out (and suffered the consequences)
2. Walk, walk walk.. whenever there is an opportunity, I walk.
3. Ensure there is at least an "active day" a week - be it some time in the gym, or a few hours spent window shopping
4. Water... & fruit teas, avoiding juices 
5. Increased salads, reduced carbs!
6. TOTALLY refuse to purchase even 1 more piece of size 16. Size 16 is obese for my height. If I remain on this size, I might as well get naked or lose those bits.

Folic acid deficiency risk with metformin

Seeing the Pregnacare vitamin advert flashed on this site reminded me about an important topic - take folic acid if you are planning to become pregnant or already pregnant. Taking folic acid is particularly important when you use metformin. I just read a report a few weeks ago that metformin users are at a risk of folic acid deficiency. Folic acid deficiency during pregnancy put the baby at higher risk of spina bifida - one of those conditions I would described as " it is unlikely to happen, but if it happens, it is a tragedy".

The report I read gave too little info to tell whether you can prevent that by taking the usual recommended preconception dose, or you need an even larger dose. Yupp, another pill for me.

Restarting metformin

Confession, more than 10 days, and only 6 tablets taken.  Metformin had been quite impossible for the first few days, and I had to stop taking it for a few days. Then I started to take every other day, just 500 mg each time. Now that I am beginning to ease into it, I am hoping that this is the first week that I can take it every day!

No fun, if you ask me what I think about metformin. If you can, you might want to start it when you have a few days break from any work or social life. The bloating, toilet trips and errr farting just wont't do!

I still have this funny metallic taste in my mouth, which makes me feel like grabbing a nibble or having some juice to lessen it. Have been allowing myself these indulgences just to get through the first week or so. I know I better stop these or else I will put on more weight! Sigh... to cheer myself up, I can only think that gals like me are  most likely to survive in a famine. Those stick insects will be long gone before I loose a pound!

p/s If i ever have a kid, I let him/her read these one day. Kids these days view life too lightly. They should know what the hell mums go through to conceive and bring them to this world. 

Metformin makes me look pregnant

.. not just pregnant, but very pregnant. In fact I look more pregnant that my 6 month pregnant colleague. The first day started off with really bad diarrhoea, and now I am still having this terrible bloating, and nausea.

I need to convince myself to stick to it. It is probably my best bet before starting other options.  Of all the treatments available, this is the one that works on insulin resistance, the root of the problem. Hopefully this will balance out the hormones and make weight loss possible.

I hear the loud "tick tock tick tock" and I know I have to "up my game".  I will have to bear with the lousy side effects. The most difficult part is telling people why I have diarrhoea and bloating, and getting the concerned look from my colleagues.  There is no way I can tell them I am on metformin and I hate evading the questions or telling some little lies there. Sigh....

Do you think they will be happy to pay for your fertility treatment..

once they hold the budget?

I know mine won't. ZERO confidence.

Forget about big things like IVF. There will be a real problem even getting them to do referrals or doing tests. It is a £££ oriented practice - totally different from my previous GP practice, which was made up of lovely people who cared about patients.   I have to find a better practice. 

Tick tock TICK TOCK...

Can you hear it? I can.

In case you are wondering whether I am becoming schizophrenic, NO, I am not.  I am merely hearing my own biological clock, TICKing away.  This year, will be my last logical chance, and here I am facing multiple problems:

1. overweight - still not successful. My improvement is NO weight gain (yet) this winter. The past few winters added an average of 5 kg per season
2. Where is my regular period?????
3. Am I ovulating? AT all?
4. PCOS - is still by "best friend"

I have not been not keen on "drastic" moves, preferring to lose weight and conceive naturally. However, after a few years of trying, that is clearly not happening. 

Time to wake up, and face the truth. And take action quick. It is time to negotiate and sharpen the elbows when it comes to dealing with my current GP.  Sigh.... the sad news is if I don't do things quick, i will soon have not only my age against me, but  the healthcare system. If my current GP has to pay for my fertility treatment, I can jolly well forget about it.